Will this Thirst-Person shooter get renewed for a second season, or canned before it can take off? Find out in The Crush House Review!
Growing up, I watched my fair share of Reality TV. My favourite, by far, was Big Brother Australia and while I’ve fantasized about being a contestant more times than I care to admit, I’ve never thought about what it would feel like to be behind the camera. Thankfully The Crush House, aptly dubbed the world’s first “Thirst-Person Shooter” aims to deliver that experience. Does this live up to reality TV standards or will it get cancelled before a second season? Find out in The Crush House Review!
Every facet of The Crush House is so colourful!
The Crush House Review – Story
It’s your first day as producer at The Crush House, the ever-popular Reality TV show based in Malibu, CA. After a quick tour of the house and picking your cast for the season, you’re thrust behind the camera of the drama-filled, emotional roller coaster of Reality Television. There are only 2 rules you need to follow: ‘Don’t talk to the crew’ and ‘The Audience is always right’. With that in mind, you pick up your camcorder and set off to make some great television. Just be sure to ignore anything out of place, like the glowing green juice that everyone is absorbed by, or the adorable Chorbies that move when no one is looking.
Gunther’s ready for a swim!
The pacing of which the mystery unfolds surrounding The Crush House is simply brilliant, revealing just enough information to keep intrigue consistently high whilst always driving the player to push further into the story. Even though the story beats are somewhat predictable and not always fleshed out, leaving many threads un-pulled by the end of the game, the main hook of the story is a definite highlight. It’s unfortunate that the storytelling and characterization in the rest of the game is so weak, feeling rushed and over-relying on bouts of exposition.
Who doesn’t love a Chorby around the house?
The Crush House promises a larger-than-life cast of characters, each with their own unique personalities. You’re told to pick your cast for each season carefully as these choices affect how people act towards each other in the house. However, this couldn’t feel further from the truth as during daytime gameplay, characters act too similarly to one another, repeating identical scripted events and rattling off the same lines. This is just part of the reason that The Crush House seemingly defies its own premise. Due to seasons only lasting 5 days in The Crush House, there isn’t a whole lot of time to connect with your stars. Learning little tidbits through secret conversations at night or receiving large exposition dumps about OG Crush House contestants through a PDA just never clicked with me. I couldn’t invest in these characters at all and by the end of the game as the most information I could remember about a given cast member was their name.
Remember: NEVER talk to the housemates!
The best example of character building came from the cast member’s requests, with some self-centered stars asking you do a little selective framing so that they look more popular or fierce. While others may ask for things to be cut from the shot to spin a similarly selfish narrative. These mini quests offer some great insight into who the characters really are underneath, and I just wish there was more subtle storytelling like this.
The Crush House Review – Gameplay
Hot moments of passion are frequent among the cast.
Each day begins with several randomized audience categories to fill. Like a documentarian, it’s your job to land the perfect shot, and in turn satiate the groups of fans by filming what they love. Groups such as Divorced Dads, who love grills and home gyms, or Feet Perverts who enjoy, well, feet. Your performance is indicated by the icons that pop up on screen as you’re filming, have a set of 3 or more unique icons flash on the screen at once and you’ll enter heat mode to earn bonuses. The game’s difficulty ramps up nicely, increasing both the types and number of audiences you must satisfy with each day completed.
What’s with the weird juice around The Crush House?
The moment-to-moment gameplay in The Crush House is captivating, forcing you to be quick on your feet and capitalize on the drama unfolding around you for more points. Lining up that perfect shot is always satisfying, and while the actions are repetitive by nature, the procedural generation mixes these moments up enough for that fact to slip by you. Where this mechanic falters, however, is that sometimes the game will ask you to focus on things outside of the main cast. When I picked this game up, I expected to be the cameraman for a Reality TV show about people, filming their emotions, relationships and scathing, hate-fueled rants. Instead, I spent far too much time aiming my camera at distant objects or hiding behind bushes to film people unawares.
Fights can get physical and are a great drama farm.
When you aren’t focused on the crew mates, you can put your camera down and generate some sweet, sweet ad revenue. Ad rates deplete over the course of the day with each one you run. Conversely, the ad reel can be skipped through to play to current audiences and earn a nice chunk of extra cash. This was another crack that I found in my experience with The Crush House. Depending on the luck of the draw, you can have the day’s filming finished by midday, and spend the rest of the show’s runtime spamming ads with no consequence. It felt like a betrayal of the game’s premise, making the cast feel insignificant to their own TV show.
Certain audiences are much easier to cater to than others.
In between episodes, you’ll have the chance to buy Props for the house. You’re also given the opportunity to talk to cast members, where you’ll receive a little more exposition and a special request. These tasks are a welcome and interesting challenge, with most proving to pull back that focus on the characters I was missing so much. Despite the negatives I’ve mentioned, The Crush House is a joy to play. Except for the large ad runs on easier days, there was never a moment that I didn’t feel engaged or uninterested. The game’s core loop is tight enough to consistently challenge you and the game hits a peak when it properly focuses on its cast.
The Crush House Review – Visuals
The visual highlight in The Crush House is the vibrant character design which of course includes the House itself. Nerial created a selection of colourful, sexy, and diverse people that give so much life to the game at large. The cartoon style of the game lends itself to the hyper-emotive cast, making every moment feel larger than life.
If your toilet is on fire, do you call a Plumber or The Fire Dept.?
The game’s UI is minimal and game performance is optimal, letting you focus on capturing the best shot possible. The single issue I had with dropped frames was quickly fixed by a small update. While the audience indicators can overwhelm the screen sometimes, often driving further disconnect between the player and NPCs, it never feels anything but amazing to be racking up audience approval in droves.
The Crush House Review – Audio
Keeping the vibes high in The Crush House is the wonderful music playlist that loops throughout the game, spanning many genres from the punk rock of At The Crush House to Forth W4v3’s Ska tunes. Outside of that energetic ensemble is the equally alluring atmosphere that surrounds the house, with the soft wind blowing into your ears or the calm, ambient sounds that fill the night.
Well, she was a Sax-Gal from the State of Tennessee.
Some more subtle sound design comes from the actions that the player takes, like lifting the camera and zooming in and out, hearing a small mechanical whir. The positive audible feedback from the audience’s reception to things on screen went a long way to make my enjoyment last too.
The Crush House Review – Conclusion
Despite The Crush House’s flaws with characterization and storytelling, I can’t deny that I was strongly compelled by its narrative. While parts of the core gameplay feel dissonant from the premise of the game, it rarely spoiled the fun I was having whilst playing. If you’re looking for something a little different this year, you could certainly do a lot worse.
Why should you play The Crush House?
- Engaging moment-to-moment gameplay
- A vibrant cast of house mates to film
- An intriguing mystery
Why shouldn’t you play The Crush House?
- Too many unanswered questions by the end of the game
- Characters aren’t as fleshed out as they ought to be
- Gameplay can feel disjointed
A review code was kindly provided by Devolver Digital for the purpose of our The Crush House review. You can check out our other reviews here and if you haven’t already, be sure to join the Qualbert Discord to find out about the latest game and review updates!
